Can We Turn Away From Blame

In this complex time, please keep in mind that we are ALWAYS making decisions from our Core Beliefs about things like safety, belonging, power and freedom, which includes our pain.

Maybe we are vigilant about doing every possible safety precaution due to PTSD.

Maybe the western medical system has previously saved our life.

OR

Maybe we don't trust authority because our parents were abusive or we've been harmed within a system.

Maybe we are vulnerable to misinformation because of our mental health.

So, are we sheep? Are we heartless people?

I think we are humans.

It's easy to write people off, scapegoat or insult. It's easy to think we are superior no matter what choice we are making. It's hard to maintain compassion.

Maybe you think "they" don't deserve compassion, for various reasons.

I'm witnessing vaccinated folks in public comment threads coldly speak of the deaths of the unvaccinated---"they got what they had coming."

And I'm witnessing unvaccinated folks awaiting adverse effects of the vaccine so the vaccinated people see "they made the wrong choice."

Maybe this sounds extreme (or doesn't) but these beliefs live as a seed---at the very least---in all of us. I have watered this seed in myself. It's the ultimate validation if folks got their "just rewards" or that we made the RIGHT choice if the other choice caused suffering, right? NO. That's our ego and trauma talking.

I'm never going to claim to have the answers. And sometimes even being this type of "educator" in these complex times feels like its own brand of pretension.

But I'll say this...every single time that I've been hurt---spiritually, emotionally and/or physically---and I've turned away from compassion and towards blame and judgment, it has only caused more suffering.

Learn from my stubbornness and pain.

Feel and process your feelings, but remember that blame is NOT a feeling. Blame is a release valve for feelings like fear, anger, superiority and disgust.

Ultimately, most "average citizens" are not intentionally trying to harm or control others---though there will always be those that are. We have different fears and values. And different wounds that make us vulnerable to different things. So people are making choices within the context of their own reality. And yeah, that has had and will continue to have some very painful consequences for ourselves, each other and the planet as a whole.

The vision I hold is for us to minimize harm in our choices---including the words we speak which have far more power than many understand---and for us to do the hard work of taking accountability when we realize we have done harm. And maybe, eventually, that will interrupt the cycle of trauma and the world will be at relative peace. It's probably not happening in our lifetime, but if that's something you seek as well, I still invite us to do our parts.