If You Made The Choice, Own It.
“This project really gets in my way,” he said.
“What do you mean?” I replied.
“Well, there are all these things that I want to do, but this project is taking up all my time.”
He continued, in more detail, about how a current project, that he wanted to do and consciously chose to do, knowing that it would dip into his time, was feeling overwhelming. His language showed that he had not, yet, fully owned his choice.
While this scenario is super relatable, especially to me, I invited him to consider how feeling like a victim was affecting the bigger situation.
“That’s interesting language,” I said.
“How so?” he replied.
“Well, you said that the project gets in your way, but you are the one that chose it. Normally, we don’t talk about something we want to do as “getting in our way,” especially when we chose the situation.
“To me, it shows how you are currently feeling about it, which is fine, but do you see how that positioning may be limiting?
“For example, if I’m working on an art project and I have everything all laid out on the floor, and my cat comes in and lays in the middle of it, he “got in my way.”
In contrast, if I’m working on an art project and I have everything all laid out on the floor, and then I go get my cat and put him in the middle of it, he didn’t get in my way. I put him in my way.
“Do you see how that’s different?
“And, in seeing that difference, it may change your entire response to the situation.”
He smiled, as the mindset shift set in.
By feeling like a victim to circumstances you created, you limit your ability to redefine balance and find a solution.
What choices have you made that are not working for you?
Can you own the results of those choices, without self-judgment?
And, from that place, can you find a solution?