Self Work for Social Change

Wherever you are right now, I guarantee you are running into Unresolved Grief, Anger, Shame and Victimization.

In the last week or so, maybe you’ve found yourself having difficult conversations with people—either in person or online. Maybe you’re running into a whole pile of feelings or resistance—either in yourself or in others.

So, I thought it would be helpful to break down some of the facets you are likely encountering, within yourself or other people, as you have these difficult conversations.

The biggest issue is that most of us have UNRESOLVED FEELINGS, based on various experiences and traumas over the course of our life.

This is how it works: When we don’t process experiences as they happen, we suppress the feelings. When we suppress the feelings, they get stored somewhere in our brain and body. Of course, this is a coping mechanism. But those feelings can’t stay dormant forever.

So, what happens next is an unrelated experience occurs and it triggers that unresolved feeling to come forward. That feeling then gets projected onto the current situation. And suddenly you have a bunch of people talking about race or some other current matter through the filter of their unprocessed grief, anger and shame.

The same thing happens if we have been a victim of something in our life and we have not fully healed the experience. When we experience victimization of any sort, we either integrate the experience and heal or it remains with us and can turn into victim consciousness—which means that we continue to experience the world through the filter of victimization, whether or not we are CURRENTLY still being victimized.

So, when we are discussing people who are experiencing victimization in the present moment, it can be a huge trigger for those who are still in victim consciousness, because their victimization was perhaps never acknowledged, supported and healed. This is primarily unconscious, so it is incredibly hard to recognize in ourself or to point out to others. The best you can do, when you witness it in others, is acknowledge their pain, as well.

This is why self work is INTEGRAL to social change. You are unable to show up fully to support the work when you are entrenched in your own unresolved trauma. It impacts your ability to have hard conversations, to listen, to be corrected, to change your mind and everything else necessary  for personal and collective evolution.

So, do the internal work. That is ongoing. Then, when you encounter these dynamics in your relationships, you will be better equipped to meet people in their stories.

So, yes, our work continues.