No Such Thing As Completely Starting Over
It’s that time again.
It’s time for me to undergo a transformation of sorts.
After all these years, and the many evolutions in my life, I am getting (mostly) used to it.
Some people avoid change in their lives and some people thrive on it.
And then there is me…
I thrive on avoiding change for as long as possible until I finally thrust myself fully, and often forcibly, in the direction of total transformation.
Apparently, it’s a Scorpio thing.
I’ve been told that we, Scorpios, live for reinvention; consistently seeking to destroy the old form of our self, in order to recreate it new again.
I would believe it.
I do seem to have a thing for reinvention, seeing as the very heart of my work is all about helping you identify and shift that which no longer serves you to make room for your ultimate desires.
But, as much as I seek (or eventually surrender to) transformation, I have learned something over the years…
There is no such thing as completely “starting over.”
Believe me, there were times in my life where I thought I was completely starting over. Like the times when I perceived that the rug had been pulled from beneath me and that I would have to re-build my whole life from scratch. But, after a while I realized something…
I get to take ME with me, no matter what.
Meaning that, no matter what happens to me, who enters or leaves my life, what internal or external changes occur, I get to remain with myself on this little life adventure.
I used to think that sucked…
Like there was no escape from myself.
But, over the years, I realized that I actually like myself quite a bit (more all the time, thanks to a lot of breathwork). And so I stopped thinking it was a bad thing that I followed myself around and I began to feel grateful for it.
Because, in each of these time periods, where I have sought re-invention (or it sought me), something pretty cool happened…
I also got to bring with me all the lessons I learned along the way. Each of the things that I cultivated over the years–the hobbies, the careers, the skills, the mindfulness–I kept what I wanted from those things and kept building upon them.
And, I imagine that is exactly what I will do for years to come.
But, as much as I have brought forward on my path, I am proud to say that I have released just as much.
I have released people and things that weighed me down. I have released experiences, thoughts and beliefs that kept me limited, stuck and full of doubt.
The key to a healthy transformation is to find your balance.
Sometimes, especially when you go through a difficult time period in your life, you seek to completely transform. And while that can be a necessary part of your evolution, I believe it is important to hold onto and honor what I will call your “true” self; the parts of you that are already in full alignment with your soul.
Sometimes, during a transition, you intentionally or accidentally leave these parts behind.
Often, it feels too painful to take these parts with you into your new reality because you identify them with the old pains. But, some of these parts of yourself are the heart of your identity.
How do you identify the difference between the “heart” parts and the parts that are healthy to release?
To the part of you that knows the truth.
That part of you is the part that knows what to keep and what to release.
Sometimes fear will get in the way of that voice. Just keep listening…it will get clearer.
So, here I am…starting another chapter, with a newly transformed “business brand” and a shiny new website that is actually a culmination of a lifetime.
And here this is…my first blog on this website, after a many year hiatus from my previous blogging adventures.
Even with the changes my life has seen, what you see on this website, and what I will continue to share with you, is MY heart’s work—the pieces of self that remain, no matter what else grows or crumbles around them.
Working with space, wellness and music is my life path. And I feel honored to continue to share that with you.
Reinvention is beautiful and important.
But never throw the baby out with the bathwater.
No matter how much you change and evolve over the years, there are vital parts of your soul that will continue to ask to be heard and honored.
I have chosen to listen to those parts of myself and I invite you to do the same.